i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
