singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
