Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
