He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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