So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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