After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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