Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
