Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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