I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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