two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
