I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize