Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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