We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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