He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
