And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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