you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
