hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
