Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
