Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
