I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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