If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
