One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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