But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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