I am spending my child support on dildos
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
