I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
