This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
