I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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