In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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