plz talk dirty to me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
