The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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