If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
