Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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