I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
