Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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