it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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