i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
FUCK WHALES
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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