We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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