The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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