and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
