garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
