U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am available for nakedness
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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