just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
