she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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