I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize