Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
