Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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