It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
