I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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