i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize