okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
