Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
