My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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