she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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