i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
