bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
