that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
