ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You work out of a Hotel?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
