Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
