I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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